Pchan and the Evil Council of Doom
by mooglequeen
Summary: Senseless violence, murdered faires, penguin sidekicks, godly Gurus and Frieza as a dog. Need I say more?
1. prolouge

P-chan and the Evil council of Doom 

Author's Note: This fic is a Dragonball z fic with a slight twist. Most of the other people in this fic are representations of the group of people that I hang out with or around. Anyways, I want to thank all of them for there help; especially Bara-chan and Kate. (The scary part is that most of these people got to pick what they wanted to be.) ^_^

Disclaimer: I don't own anything...but my friends. MWHAHAHA...cough..HA..HA..HA. I'm gonna start running now. 

__

:thoughts:

Prologue

****

On Planet Baka-sei:

"This is an outrage! We can't allow this to happen!"

"Who's idea was it to bring Freiza back again?," the green skinned alien whispered to his neighbor.

"I don't know; but I think someone should kill him again," he replied. "Seriously, how many times can a person possible come back?"

The Guru of all evil dudes rose to his feet while yanking on Freiza's leash. "Down boy! Heel! Here want this," he said as he waved a still flapping pigeon at the now drooling, tail wagging ice-jin. "Fetch!" 

He sighed and rolled his eyes as he watched Freiza eat the 

unfortunate pigeon that he had thrown to him. "Now that he's out of the way we can get down to business. We have to decide what to do about those rumors going around. I don't think that it's possible for a person named Bara and a Penguin to defeat those earthlings, when we couldn't! It's not fair! Not Fair! NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR! *cough cough* We have to figure out how to correct this unfortunate mishap. Does any one have any ideas?"

"Ooh ooh! I got an idea! Why don't we sneak through a bunch of rooms with all these different obstacles in it; ya know giant chest boards and stuff; only to find a mirror that has absolutely no purpose because the stone was in his pocket the whole time. Then we kill the boy, become immortal, and beat this bara person/thingy."

"Hum...I don't know, Voldermort. That sounds sort of familiar to me for some reason. Have we tried that before?"

"That's a lame idea, anyways. I think we should kidnap the penguin and a trolley thing full of kids and hold them on either side of a bridge. Then we should drop them at the same time and make that Bara choose. Of course, I'll be flying around on a glider wearing a green skin tight suit that I really shouldn't be wearing at my age and throwing little bomby things at her."

"Well, that sounds familiar too. Plus, it wouldn't be much of a choice for her/him don't you think. On one hand a loyal penguin servant and on the other a group of screaming annoying brats. No, that plan just won't work."

The room grew quite as they heard someone clear their voice; Chaney slowly rose to his feet. "I think we should feed it pretzels. Hey, if it almost worked on the president why not this Bara."

The Guru sighed as the room broke into meaningless chatter. _It looks like we're getting no where fast. I'll just send Freiza to her/him to see if it wants an alliance. _

****

On earth, in the middle of a strawberry field.

"This is stupid! Why the hell are we picking strawberries!?"

"I don't know dad; but that's what mom told us to do."

"That's it! The woman has gone to far this time! I refuse to pick another strawberry. In fact... I think we could use a change of scenery." Vegeta charged up an ki ball and blasted the field into the next dimension. (A.N. grrr! next dimension)

_Oh! Great dad! Now what are we going to tell mom!_

"Now what are we gonna do dad?"

At that precise moment a small fairy like creature popped out of a glowing green vortex. The thing was a three foot tall midget with an overly large forehead. He also was carrying a cane, although neither Trunks nor Vegeta could figure out why since it had wings.

"Well hello there," he said in an accent that just shouted someone is going to kill me in a second if I don't stop talking. "My name is Moto, the lord of the wings, and I've come here to take you to an endless field of strawberries where you can forever pick your fill. Ahh.. isn't that nice."

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!," Vegeta scream as he began to violently beat the fairy thing to death with his own cane.

Trunks just shook his head as he watched his father beat the midget to death. _What is up with the universe these days?_

To be continued...

Cast list for this chapter-

The guru of all evil dudes - that's me!

Bara - as herself (go read her fics)

Penguin (p-chan) - the giant stuffed penguin that bara has

Moto - My sister's lame x boyfriend. He'll die in every chapter. Stupid baka.

Anyways, I'll try to up date sometime next week. Please review. You know you want to! 

Bara-chan's Rant: Tehe... this may or may not happen again but I had something to say. Before I go on and piss people off as my opinions tend to do in some way or another, I would like to say that I hate Hercule with a passion. Always have. Always will. The reason why I'm stating this is because this rant is about Hercule. I've read so many fanfics that put down Hercule it's amusing. The idiot deserves it. However, there are a LOT of people bashing the way Hercule fights. Sure he is an idiot who has way too much ego, slacks off, and lies and bribes his way through things, but I wouldn't say that he is a terrible fighter. In the show, the viewer gets the point of view of the ki-users. If you exclude the ki-users, Hercule could very well be the strongest human on the planet. The people of Chikyuu(I know I spelt that wrong) don't know anything about Ki or aliens or anything that the Z group knows about. They know that there is a Martial Arts Tournament and assume that all the strongest fighters actually want to fight in it. Hercule beat all the fighters in his matches, so it wasn't a stupid thing to assume that he was the strongest in the world. I could probably go on with more reasons and stuff like that, but I'm starting to get nauseous. I hate the guy and I hate sticking up for him. I know I should just keep my ignorant mouth shut, but I guess I was just a little, I guess the word would be confused, at the way Hercule was being portrayed. Hey, maybe I'm completely wrong. I am definitely not a DBZ expert, so if there is anything that completely disproves everything or anything I said, I apologize. Bash the bastard all you want, I just wanted to put out my opinion. 

Since Queenie is nice enough to let me put this at the end of her fic, I ask that any responses come to me instead of into her review thingie. My e-mail is Kagenohime6@aol.com and I ask that you put something in the subject indicating that it is a response. I have a habit of deleting any email that I cannot recognize as something I would want to read. 


	2. Chapter 1

P-chan and the Evil council of Doom 

Authors note: Since I forgot to add this to the last chapter I thought I'd add it now. If you are by chance reading this fic for the Dragonball part, this might not be the fic for you. Most of the jokes in here are inside jokes so you won't get them unless you know me personally. Anyways, I'm doing this to basically satisfy my friends; although it probably would be funny to people who don't know what we're talking about. 

Bara-chan: HUSH!!!!! You're not supposed to tell them that... You're supposed to get people to read.. not run away

__

:thoughts:

****

Planet Baka-sei:

Chapter 1

__

What's the odds of Frieza actually succeeding in getting a treaty with this Bara? In fact what are the odds that this Bara actually destroyed the earthlings? The Guru pondered this as he aimlessly passed his meeting room. _Maybe I should send some insurance._

"Iceshadow03! Fhqwhgadshg! _What is with that name! _Get in here! Now!"

Upon calling, a half cyborg male carrying a box of tissues and a sleazy saiyan female entered the room. The cyborg was about 6 feet tall and 175 lbs. A gigantic sword was slung across his shoulders and he seemed to be in a depressed sort of mood. The saiyan was about 5'7" with a very nice build. You would have thought from the way that she looked, dressed, and acted that she would have been more suited for a harem instead of the Guru's elite guards. 

"Sir," they replied in unison.

"I have an assignment for you. I'm sending you to the planet ..." The Guru was interrupted by a soul wrenching wail from the part cyborg.

"What the hell is your problem, Iceshaadow03?"

"They killed Old Yeller!" He screamed; bursting into tears. 

"They killed the dog!" Some random person named Liz said. 

"They shot him. What did he do to deserve to die?" Moaned Iceshadow03.

"Get a hold of yourself," the Guru hollered while throwing a box of tissues at his head, "and how the hell did you get in here anyways? This is a restricted area. How'd you get in here without a pass," he asked, turning to Liz.

"Ya so retaded (A.N. that's how she says it.) I just opened the door. Ya not even worth my time you perfect circle, dog killing, murderers. " With that she just disappeared.

Guru, Iceshodow03, and Fhqwhgadshg: Ka-blink (A.N. Da-dink! Da-dink! Da-dink!)

"Anyways, what were you saying, oh great and wise Guru," Fhqwhgadshg asked sweetly while she batted her eyelids at him.

"Stop sucking up Fhqwhgadshg! I'm not giving you cigarette money so you can forget it."

"Damn," she pouted.

"Moving on. As I was saying before I was interrupted, I want confirmation that this Bara person actually destroyed those puny Earthlings. Therefore I'm sending the two of you to Earth to see who is left. You will report back immediately when you find out any information. We have to know what we're dealing with if we are going to have any chance of defeating it. Now go! Iceshadow03 is getting my carpet wet."

With that both of the Guru's servants left for earth. _Maybe I should think of a plan C,_ the Guru thought, _just in case plan B doesn't work. Why is it so hard to find good help these days._

****

On the tiny planet of Sleepy Hallow:

Frieza was slowly walking the desolated hallways of Bara's Planet. _This place is kind of creepy, _he thought has he looked around. The walls of the corridor were covered in different anime characters that seemed as if they were going to jump off the wall and kill him. He began to walk faster; looking around wildly at the faces. Not able to take anymore, he began to run as fast as he could through the corridor. _Where the hell is the exit?! I thought this planet was only about 30 feet wide!?_

"P-chan, how long do you think it'll take him to realize that he's running in a circle?" Bara asked her penguin sidekick.

"Squeek. Squeek. Squeek, " replied the penguin.

"My thoughts exactly." With that Bara raised her hand, gathering ki in the palm of it and released it, hitting Frieza squarely on the ass. Unfortunately, it didn't have the desired effect. He just began screaming and running faster.

"Squeek!!!!!" P-chan couldn't take it anymore. He raised a wing and blasted Frieza into oblivion.

"Bad P-chan! He had something important to ask me," Bara scolded.

"Squeek. "

"That's alright. I forgive you. After that I feel like an ice coffee. Lets go."

****

Planet Earth about two weeks later:

The Gang of Z warriors stood outside of the hopping night club called the Queen Spring. They could feel the music under their feet and the heat that washed over them every time the door was opened. Bulma had wanted a night without the children; so here they were. She had blackmailed her husband into coming by telling him that she would send him on another strawberry picking adventure if he didn't. Not wanting to be alone in his misery, Vegeta invited the rest of the z gang to come with them. 

_Wow! This may not be torture after all. I didn't know they had strippers in this joint, _he thought has he walked in. The most prominent feature of the club was by far the tables in the back. On one danced a young woman with a sort of amazon look to her. On the other danced a woman, who was as beautiful as she was built. Below them, stretched an immense dance floor, where people who didn't work there could dance. Off to one side stood a rather large bar with stools in front of it. Behind it, worked a half man half machine bar tender. 

Immediately apon entering Vegeta head straight for the bar. But before he managed to get there the door to the club burst open and in came the screaming fairy Moto. Following right behind him was the teenage mutant ninja turtle Michaelangelo.

"Give be back my pizza you scum bag," screamed the enraged turtle. 

****

"I don't have your pizza anymore," wined the fairy. "I used it to feed the larva the inhabit my hair." Showing them to the turtle for emphasis.

Upon seeing and hearing this the turtle flew off the edge. He began beating the fairy with his nunchucks 'til there was nothing left of him. "I hate fairies!" With that he casually left the nightclub.

_This is going to be an interesting night indeed,_ Vegeta thought to himself.

***********************************************************************************************

Cast:

Guru - myself

Bara - as herself

Iceshadow03 - my friend tom

Fhqwhgadshg - kate

amazon dancer (has a bigger role next chapter) - anne

Liz - as herself

moto - lame ex boyfriend of my sister

P-chan - stuffed penguin of Bara's

Next time: The club scene and Krillin pole dancing for Vegeta!

Bara-chan's note: 

*snicker* the really sad thing is that this is what we're really like... Except for P-chan... she doesn't squeek or talk back... she's a good stuffed penguin. ^.^ Just to let you know.. I'll probably have a note at the bottom of each chapter... just cuz I can... you are warned....

The Mooglequeen's Rant: 

My turn I guess. Alrighty-then! I've been waiting for the last tape of Dragonball Z to come out for over a month and I finally got the tape on Wednesday. You have to understand that Vegeta is my favorite character in DBZ, so I was really appalled by what they did to his daughter's name. They changed her name from Bra to Bulla. WHAT KIND OF NAME IS BULLA!!! It doesn't even follow the traditional briefs name! Some times I just want to hit those people at funimation with a frying pan of doom of my own! I'm all for some censorship sense little kids do watch the show; but seriously if your going to call one kid Trunks why can't you call another Bra. Not to mention I have the uncut version, it has an age warning for heaven's sake! *Just turns around and walks away shacking her head* 


End file.
